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Saturday, November 22, 2008

A study of nature: The Cockgobbler

Here we find a few varieties of Cockgobbler is their native environment.
The Bovine Cockgobbler: Better known as the "meat sack" Cockgobbler, he is one of the more common varieties found in the wild. They are known for their sheer disdain for the Red Dirt Cockgobbler, but have been known to cross breed when needed for pro-creation (or post season play). They can be found chasing the female Bovine gobbler who can be easily identified by the large amounts of hair under their arms and lack of any grooming or hygiene.
The Yellow Breasted Parrot Cockgobbler: Though easily excitable, this gobbler is known for his "parrot" like facial features. He has been known to chum up to some only to turn his back on them when he thinks no one is watching. They have the longest lifespan and will more than likely outlive us all.
The Rainbow Rear Cockgobbler: Better known as the "back biter" or "stool pushing" cockgobbler, he is the rarest of all the Cockgobblers. Since procreation is almost unheard of among them due to their homosexual tendencies, they are near extinct. They will usually be found blowing whoever is up for Heisman that week, and will forever dismiss any achievement from a West Texas team.
The Red Dirt Cockgobbler: Also known as the "Ball-Sacajawea Corn-Holer" Cockgobbler, he can be found roaming the plains of Oklahoma. Though they have little inteligence, they are known for their confusing tactics and mental masturbatory delusions of grandeur. Some of them have an aversion to alcohol and small pox, while other aversions include to gold teef, taking money from boosters, unattractive females, and an overall miss-conception that its OK to butt-bang your sister.

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